The cooking continues

Just in case you thought I was floundering, this evening's meal consisted of Spaghetti (Ragu) Bolognese, followed by Rich Bread & Butter Pudding.

Whilst not yet able to achieve a Len Goodman "...Sevurhn!", there are definitely signs of improvement.

Apparently next week I am being given the weekend off, although I'm not quite sure what to read into that, especially as I was advised of this shortly after a conversation which included the words "...Do you know if we have any Andrews liver salts?". Ho hum...

Feedback for the feedbacker

Clearly not one to take feedback badly, I thought that I would share with the world an amusing anecdote which, quite unrelated to the feedback, concerns an auditor!

An auditor is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend many hours trying to find it."

Now somewhat ironically the feedback referred to the fact that there had only been 8 "posts" on this Blog in January, well - HELLO! - I think you'll find that either there have been 12 in the year to date or that somehow I am able to re-write history!! Keep practicing your counting - one sheep, two sheep, three sheep zzz zzz zzz zzz!

A Winter's Tale

After one of the mildest starts to a year since records began, I woke up this morning to snow covered streets and gardens.

The morning drive to the station was a little bit treacherous due to fact that the roads hadn't been gritted or cleared. It is strange that despite the prospect of snow having been “forecast” for some time, it appeared as though this information was either not available to local councils OR it was available and they decided that as it was going to be so cold they would go on holiday.

The trains were no better. A journey that would normally take me 85 minutes took 165! At one point the driver of the train said “...there's a train ahead that's having some difficulty getting over a set of points but I'm hoping that if it does, it'll clear the way for us”; clear the way? This made it sound as if there was three foot of snow on the line not 3 millimetres!

Never let it be said though that the train companies didn't have a plan. They did send trains out to clear the lines in the early hours of the morning. However, why they decided to clear the line out of London first, when all the commuter traffic was needing to go INTO London is a mystery.

Fisherman's Pie

Today's culinary delight (?) was Fisherman's pie, and whilst it was very tasty it lost a few marks for artistic impression. One of my problems was that I had prepared an insufficient amount of mashed potato topping which caused it to slowly sink into the freshly prepared cod, prawn and parsley sauce.

I had hoped that my "creation" would have been on "an even keel", and was initially upset at the outcome, but then I saw this weekend's news about 'MSC Napoli', which had beached off the Devon coast.
I have therefore renamed my "creation" - Fisherman's Napoli Surprise Pie!

Police 'Cold Case' Squad to Investigate Aesop

Follow the story in Tuesday's Blog ('Cardiff gardens declared smallest in the world'), the police have today announced that they are currently investigating Aesop (of the Fable fame!) in relation to potential charges of fraud and deception.

Police say that evidence "...recently uncovered" has raised doubts about the 'Hare and the tortoise' fable, sufficient to seriously question whether the Tortoise could ever beat the Hare, in any circumstances.

Given that the moral of the 'fable in question' was "...slow and steady wins the race", and that it dates back to 650 BC, it would be the ultimate 'oxymoron' if the police do actually disprove it.

If they conclude that a hare would always beat a tortoise in a race, and therefore that actually 'slow and steady' doesn't win the race, doesn't this contradict with the fact that it has taken them nearly 2,700 years to successfully reach this conclusion?

Cardiff gardens declared smallest in the world!

A recent story in the newspaper got me thinking (which is somewhat hard, and always dangerous) although not about the subject of the story but about the size of gardens...

It was reported that a pet tortoise made it as far as 2.9 kilometres away from home in the eight months since going missing - an average of 12 metres a day.

Horace the Herman tortoise was spotted in the middle of a road on the outskirts
of Cardiff by animal welfare inspector Nic de Calis, who then scanned his
microchip and duly returned him to his thrilled owners.
"They were so surprised to receive my call and are delighted that they will be reunited with their long-lost pet," Mr Calis said.
The owner received Horace as a Christmas present about seven years ago. He had been put into the garden - and five minutes later had vanished.?

Given that Horace's average speed was 12 metres a day, in the five minutes it took for him to "...vanish from the garden" he would have travelled 4 centimetres!!! How big was their garden, or how poor was their eyesight?

Weekend visit to the West Country

Following an enjoyable weekend in Yeovil/Ash visiting the 'aged parents' we heading back home along the A303. Stopping first at my "favourite ruin' - Stonehenge, we later hoped to find a country pub where we could have Sunday lunch. Not knowing the area particularly well we were hoping for some sort of "sign" to guide us in the right direction. And then we saw one that was slightly out of of the ordinary. Walking along the verge of the fast moving A303 was a man with a sandwich-board advertising 'The George Inn' at Thruxton.


Given the creativity of advertising approach, we thought that the pub deserved a visit, if only to repay the poor chap's dedication and persistence - although we did think that if they had to resort to such desperate measures then the food might be equally desperate as well.

We were wrong, apparently this was no last ditch attempt to drum up trade, but an approach that had been in existence for 20 years. As for the food....it was in fact great, and well worth a visit.

All clear on the medical front

Given that 48 hours have now passed since the cooking “episode”, with not clear signs of anything untoward in the gastric department, the level of alert has been reduced from 'Possible' to 'Unlikely' and the medical services have been advised accordingly.

If you can't stand the heat...cook Chilli con Carne!

Well, to have achieved one of my annual resolutions by 7 January 2007, can't be too bad.

Less impressive was the fact that by cooking one meal actually constituted “cooking more” than in all of 2006. That is not to say that I hadn't previously prepared meals of a “convenience” type - but these couldn't really be considered to be cooking -a more accurate description would be “heating”.

The first meal was Chili con Carne, made with natural (rather than tinned) products - so the dried kidney beans had to be soaked, the steak diced etc - and it was pretty good. The pudding was even “created”, (comprising of banana, grapes, brown sugar, Greek yogurt, vanilla essence and lemon juice) and seemed to be appreciated.

However, given that this “event” only occurred a couple of hours ago, and food poisoning can take 24 hours to kick in... maybe I shouldn't comment further for a couple of days.

...and the annual Creativity prize goes to....

Having commented some months ago on some amusing (well it was to me!). advertising on the side of lorries and vans, it has to be said that none of them was a funny as the following: -

Seen at the back of the Marks & Spencer store in St Albans, a very large delivery wagon, very dirty after the trip from the warehouse, with the following message finger written on the side:

“This is not just dirt. This is M&S dirt!”

Can elephants write poetry?

I WANDERED lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Whilst the above poem is attributed to William Wordsworth, it appears that even in 1888, (when the aeroplane was still a twinkle in Wilbur & Orville* Wright's eyes), that the technical ability of animals to "float" may have been more widespread than you might think.

We all know that "scientists" has said that bees are too heavy to be able to fly when one compares their body weight to the size of their wings, but what about elephants?

It has recently been scientifically proven that the weight of the average cloud is actually 550 tonnes.

550 tonnes! That is equivalent to the weight of 100 elephants.

Therefore the term 'raining cats and dogs' could soon more aptly be replaced by the term '...its raining a herd of nellies!'

* Was Keith Harris & Orville's 1990 "hit" 'I Wish I Could Fly' actually a cover version of Orville Wright's 1900 classic number?

Time for a rest (again)

One of the worst things about long holidays is the fact that eventually you have to return to work. After the best part of three weeks off over Christmas and New Year, I returned to the office today. however, by 2 o'clock in the afternoon the weeks had already seemed to have been a long one so I decided to to take this Friday off!

New Year's Resolutions - Part 2 & 3

My second and third resolutions this year are once again related to "Food and Language" although not in the same way that Gordon Ramsey is!

Last year I decided that I would lose weight, (ostensibly by eating less food and exercising more) and over the course of the year actually lost fifteen pounds!!

[Waits for cheers and rapturous applause from across the world to stop]

This year I may actually gain weight as I have resolved to cook more - possibly inspired by the valiant efforts and wonderful results of my dear son, (who shall hereafter and henceforth be known as) Moog.

For the non-family members who don't know me so well, "...cooking more" could also be as accurately described as "...cooking", as long as you don't include my previous "signature" dish of Pizza, chips and beans!

Not only did I resolve to cook more I actually went out and bought a cookbook - Delia's Complete Illustrated Cookery Course - at a cost of £12.99. A very good price and easily affordable as I even had change from the fifteen pounds that I had previously lost (see above) but later found down the back of the sofa.

The results of this resolution will be published here as events unfold, as long as we survive!

As for the Language related resolution, last year I tried English but gave up half way through the year so I have decided to lower my sights and attempt Spanish and French!!

New Year's Resolutions - Part 1

This year I have made 3 New Year's resolutions that are similar to those made (and broken) last year, but with a slight twist.

Last year I resolved to visit the Gym at least 4 times a month. At £20 a month it is really very cheap and I am pleased to announce that this is one resolution that I achieved...

...Well I achieved it in January, but then never went near the place for the rest of the year.

Whilst £20 a month is cheap - £60 a visit is less so, and so this year's resolution is to cancel my Gym membership - this should be both achievable and cost effective.

More soon....