Friday, October 20, 2006

Words & figures differ

As we all know there are differences (sometimes subtle, sometimes not) between the English language and that spoken by people in America (which they refer to as English, but which is clearly not!).

For example - 'Pants', in English refers to an item of underwear (usually a lady's), whereas in American it means trousers, the 'Second Floor' in an America building, refers to the 'First Floor' in an English one, and so on. Therefore if you are looking for a pair of pants in an American department store and ask for directions, and an assistant tells you that they can be found on the Second Floor, forget it, you'll never find them (although on the floor below you may find some nice trousers!).

Now, if you do something that you will never have been asked to do before, (and will never be asked to do again), that is, transpose the word "pants" with the words "...weapons of mass destruction", you may begin to realise how it why it was almost (OK totally) impossible to find them.

Such confusion is also seen in numbers. Look at the difference in the following numerical terms: -

  1. A British "billion", is an American "trillion"
  2. A British "trillion", is an American "quintillion", and
  3. A British "quintillion", is an American "nonillion".

Clearly coincidentally, the impact of the above differences means that whenever an American company compares its level of profits with that of their British competitors, they appear bigger and more successful.

It is therefore not surprising that good(?) old George Dublya gets confused on occasions.

Recently, one of George's aides woke him up in the middle of the night to
advise him that in the past 24 hours 4 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in
Iraq. George put his head in his hands and exclaimed "...that is terrible!"
George, looking slightly puzzled, then asked "...exactly how many is a
Brazilian?"

God bless America!

2 comments:

LLBB said...

I found this very amusing, however I do feel that if any of our American relatives were to read this, they might take offense to it?!?!

Paul Helsby said...

LLBB - Thanks for your comment. I particularly like the fact that you continued the theme of the article by using the American spelling of "offense" rather than the English "offence". However, as we are not related to George Dublya himself, I think we may be OK!