Why buy a peerage?

There has been much media attention over recent days, weeks and months concerning the issue of 'cash-for-honours', but today I discovered that none of it had been necessary at all.

It transpires that one can simply assign "titles" to oneself when completing the Personal Details section whilst shopping over the Internet. When the post is eventually delivered, the postman (and then very soon after the entire neighbourhood) will think that a title has actually been bestowed upon you, and will soon start addressing you in the appropriate (OK, well inappropriate!) manner.

It also appears that the level of "title" depends upon where you shop.

Whilst you can be a Doctor in many stores such as Argos; or a Lord, Lady, Sir or Dame in M&S, perhaps unsurprisingly one needs to shop online at Harrods to get the highest level of title.

At Harrods one can become either a Sheikh, Sheikha, Prince or Princess!

However, one word of caution - if your name is Phillip and you fancy the title of Prince this may not be the site to try it!!

However, if your name is Jim go right ahead, and arise Prince Jim!